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George has been gone for almost 4 months. Scott's been gone for more than 5 years. I can't believe I've lost them both. After I lost Scott, I moved into a trailer in Dryden, ON, then shortly after that I moved to Tuktoyaktuk, NT. It's been a crazy 5 years...actually, it's been a rough 20 years. I've lost so many people.
2020 was a bad year. I started writing again in January, for the 1st time in many years. COVID 19 struck, then George was working from home until September. Not a lot of writing happened while he was working from home. We didn't travel to Newfoundland, because it wasn't an option. In August, we went to Whitehorse, YT for a few days and did some shopping. We spent 2 weeks in self isolation, in Inuvik before heading back to Tuk. George went back to work in September. He was happy to be working in the college again.
I spent most of December deciding what I wanted to do most in January. I could continue to write. I could learn more about knitting, crocheting, or sewing. I could learn to play the violin that George bought me last Christmas. I probably would have continued to write. George and I were so happy we had survived 2020. George wasn't feeling very well, but he wasn't showing any symptoms.
We were so busy just after Christmas, so we decided to cook a turkey and ham New Years day. New Years Eve we put the ham in the slow cooker and thawed the turkey. We also put on some beans in a smaller slow cooker, because George loved beans. it was 12:08 pm, New Year's Eve, I looked at the clock and said, "We had a late breakfast, you don't want lunch yet, eh?" George was eating pretzels. "Lunch?" he said. I smiled. "I should've known better, of course you want lunch! Do you want some leftover stew?" "Good idea," he said. George was fine. Everything was fine until...it wasn't. While I was warming up the stew, George started making a snoring sound, or what I thought was a snoring sound. (Will was in the washroom and he heard George say, "Oh," before he heard the snoring. I didn't hear that.) It seemed really odd that George just fell asleep on the couch while I was warming up his lunch. I went to check on him. His eyes were open and he was staring at the wall. I sat down with him and put my hand on his leg. I called his name. I tried to get his attention. He wasn't responding to me. He continued to...snore. I waited and kept trying to get his attention. After some time he stopped breathing. I didn't know what to do. George weighed more than 300 lbs. I didn't think I'd be able to do CPR with him sitting on the couch, but I didn't know how to get him on the floor.
He started breathing again. I thought, 'Good, that's something. Maybe he'll be okay.' Then he started snoring again. There are no paramedics in Tuk. He continued to snore and stare at the wall. I still couldn't get any reaction from him. He stopped Breathing again.
I phoned the RCMP and it only took them minutes to get to our place, but I think George was gone before they got here. It took them a bit to get him on to the floor. The did everything they could to revive him. After some time they rolled him on to a stretcher, but they couldn't lift him. The constables, Sean and Matt, had to drag him, and that stretcher out of the house. A fire fighter helped them get George in the pan of the truck. It was -55 outside and all George was wearing was shorts. He lost his slippers on the way out of the house. They took George to the Health Centre. By the time I got there, Sean told me there was nothing they could do. George was gone.
I went to see him. He was still warm, but his ears were blue. I spent a bit of time with him. When I was about to leave, I noticed that the nurses had taken off his socks. His feet were out of the blankets. I know it was strange, but I covered up his feet...I hadn't wanted his feet to get cold. It didn't make any sense, and I knew it didn't, but I covered up his feet anyway.
After a few days (in their morgue) George was driven to Inuvik, then flown to Edmonton, cremated, then mailed to Gander, NL. George's cremains will be buried in Badger, NL this summer. My son, Will, and I will be moving to Newfoundland hopefully this summer and living there.
I still can't believe he's gone. I don't know how I'm going to function without him. I will do the best I can. I will try to make a life for myself and Will in Badger. I will always miss you, George. I'm grateful for the time we did have together, but I want more...
People in Tuk told me that the snoring was a death rattle...I guess I should've known, because Scott had made the same sounds before he passed away. The coroner told me George's heart just stopped. George had sleep apnea, diabetes, and a bad heart. She said that was a recipe for disaster. I wish I had known what to do. I wish I could have saved him. Yeah, I still wish I could have saved Scott, too. They both will be loved and missed forever.
