I'm not the same person anymore

 Recently I started writing again.  It's been a long time since I've written.  It's hard to write when you're grieving.  I've been grieving for ten years.  Almost five years ago, I was coming out of auto-pilot, almost five years after my younger son, Scott passed away.  Will, my older son, were both making plans.  but then New Year's Eve in 2020 came.  Things were good.  Everything was great.  I was making lunch for George, my husband, then all of a sudden things weren't good anymore.  George's heart just stopped.  

We had been living in Tuktoyaktuk, Northwest Territories for four and a half years.  At the beginning of July, Will and I flew to Newfoundland, George's original home.  So, Will and I had spent five years in the Arctic.  

After we moved, writing wasn't really what I was ready for.  I started learning about Copywriting, then I switched to Affiliate Marketing...then I switched to Book Arbitrage.  Sigh.  Now I'm very close to quitting.  

After I reread my first novel, Forever Ends, then read the half of the second novel: Tomorrow's Past, that I had wrote years ago. I went through Forever Ends again and made some changes.  This week I was ready to publish the changes...but Amazon Kindle didn't have my novel anymore.  I'm guessing it's because I had lowered the price to next to nothing, and they weren't making any money from it.  I published it again, and increased the price in hopes that'll work.  I have to wait until this Saturday night before it's available.  

I was worried I wouldn't be able to write anymore.  I'm not the same person I was ten years ago.  I'm not the same person as I was five years ago.  However, my brain is constantly thinking about writing.

Do I still miss Scott and George?  Yes.  I'm sure I always will, but I think I'll be able to write again.  Wish me luck.